According to the test, nothing has changed in my biases. I still have little to no objective automatic associations towards one race or the other, positively or negatively. This is good as it is my goal to be unbiased towards someone due to the color of their skin, but it does not accurately encapsulate the changes in my biases which I feel have occurred since the first time I took this test. It's a five-minute test which, while a valuable tool in helping you recognize implicit biases, ultimately only evaluates reaction times, and could never evaluate the nuances of my brain. My perceptions of these associations have changed in the last two years, even though the test shows no change.

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            When I first took this test in 2019, I was only a few weeks into my first year of college. I had just left Central Minnesota for Southern Minnesota, two primarily white communities, and was living on a floor with 60 other girls- of which only a handful were not white Midwesterners. Thus, my identities were not really challenged in this new place. I identify as a straight, white, cisgender female, many things which give me privilege over other communities and may make me seem like I may have biases against people unlike me. Some of the expected biases may be homophobia, racism, or because of my Central Minnesota upbringing, Islamophobia. Where I was raised, there is a lot of Islamophobia due to the high influx of Islamic immigrants and the general close-mindedness of the community. I would often hear respected adults being disrespectful to and about the people we were working with at volunteer events at church. As a result, I would not be surprised to see some sort of implicit biases breakthrough in these tests because of the culture I was raised in, but I was always so uncomfortable in those situations because it felt wrong. This sense of “wrongness” when it comes to negative biases against other cultures and people I don’t directly relate to is what led to me not having significant biases for or against other races. I was raised in a home where I was always encouraged to be accepting of all people, and my favorite stories growing up were about people different from me. I’ve still put in work to continue to improve, however. Since this class, I have applied the knowledge of implicit biases to every facet of my life and find myself actively checking my biases daily and working against any negative ones. This is partially resultant of the class, but also because of societal changes. Implicit bias has become a more well-known topic in society since the death of George Floyd, and biases against Asian Americans have strengthened with the COVID-19 pandemic, giving me many reminders to work against these biases and teach others to do the same. Although I didn’t take the tests for things like gender associations with career fields or ableism, I think that my results would remain similar to these race-based ones, claiming little to no bias. While the test claims I have little to no bias, I find that many of my close relationships remain with people who match demographics most like me. I think this is more a matter of circumstance than of biases, but I do wish that I had more close relationships with people different from me. There is so much to learn about yourself by learning about others, and as someone who wants to be a well-rounded citizen and encourage others to be the same, I will continue to work to educate myself on my biases and the identities of those around me.

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          This time, I also found myself analyzing my answers as I took it. This self-evaluation was not something I did the first time, and I asked myself many questions while in progress. Did I press the button associated with white/weapon for keys because as a woman, I have been conditioned to hold my keys as a weapon in the parking lot in case someone tries to attack me? Did I negatively associate the white option over the black option because I’m more afraid of white people than black people? Having these kinds of questions pop into my mind shows that I have grown my ability to reflect and adjust in the moment when before it may have needed to be a formal reflection, and that’s a valuable skill.

           

          Revisiting these results and taking time to reflect on my implicit biases in a formal setting again has been interesting. I’ve grown significantly since the first time, but I still have a lot of work to do. In the future, I will continue to ask myself questions regarding my identity, especially as it relates to how I can make the world a more inclusive place for everyone, not just for white cisgender heterosexuals. I will check my biases and make conscious efforts to change them through education and more diverse experiences. I will work to find first and second- person sources of minority experiences to grow as a person and share these findings with others, encouraging them to do the same as I try to do. I accept that I am an imperfect person with many biases resultant of things outside of my control, but I will not remain complicit in these biases now that I am aware of them. I know that I have many faults, and I hope I continue to find them and find joy in the discomfort of growth. I think all society can benefit from doing the same. As someone who works in theatre, a place where emphasis is put on the stories of individuals and their communities, it is incredibly important for me to continue deconstructing these biases and continue working on telling more stories. If I let negative biases creep into a show I’m working on, I could contribute negatively to someone else’s biases and, as a result, perpetuate the issues that theatre works so hard to end by working to create an antiracist, anti- ableist, and inclusive space that allows all stories to be told just as beautifully as another. My hope is that by taking steps to recognize these biases that I can encourage others to do the same and that we may all work together to create a more united nation.